Monday, May 20, 2013

Thank you

To anyone that is still reading my blog I just want to say thank you.  It means so much to me that you have continued to be part of my healing process.  Yesterday marked nine months since I said goodbye to my son and daughter.  I really don't think I could have gotten through the past nine months without the love and support I have received. 
Before suffering my losses I never really had an appreciation for the pain of losing a pregnancy.  I wish that nobody had to go through what I have experienced, but unfortunately I know that many families have and will go through a similar loss.  For those of you that have never lost a pregnancy or child I hope you never do.  For those of you that have I grieve with you. 
I had the misfortune of an ignorant question today.  I was getting my blood pressure taken at the Doctor's office this afternoon and a woman asked me if I had any children.  This is always a difficult question for me to answer but today I chose to tell her that I had a daughter that was two and half years old.  I didn't have the strength to give a complete answer.  She quickly responded by asking if I was planning on having any more and I told her that I had twins last year that died at birth so I wasn't sure when I would be ready to try again.  She didn't skip a beat and she proceeded to tell me about her friend that had a miscarriage and then had triplets.  She made it very clear that she would never want triplets, it would just be too much to handle.  I smiled and replied that yes, three babies would keep you quite busy.  I wanted to cry, I wanted to yell at her and tell her how insensitive she was being.  Instead I kept quiet.
I don't know what I should expect from people.  I know that everyone asks "What do you do for a living?" and "Do you have any children?", it's just normal conversation.  I will have to always carefully select what my response is.  Am I in the mood to ruin someone's day or not?  My husband always jokes that our story is a real room killer.  He has meetings at work and sometimes they ask everyone to share something unique about themselves.  Micah sure could bring the meeting to an awkward silence by saying "I have two dead children" at his turn.  Probably not socially acceptable.
I guess my point is that I hope by sharing my ongoing story I have shared a sense of sensitivity.  Everyone has a story and some are too painful to share.  I will continue to be honest and share as much as I can.  I hope that I can do my part to help break the silence of miscarriage and infant loss.  It is something that one out of four women experience and it deserves to be talked about.


  1. I can picture the way you are holding back on that nurse. I miss your expressions. Very moving. Im sorry about your losses. Truly. And its natural to be bothered. That is a very personal question ,not a great opener. I would use it as a chance to bring someone up on their awareness of what a rude question that actually is. Nice blog btw
    <3. Jamie Bullock

    1. Thanks Jamie. I hope you're doing well :)